A Community of Weirdos, in the Best Sense: Cooking, Care, and Belonging at Feÿtopia
Details
- Interviewee: Elena
- Role: Chef, Feytopian
- Community: Feÿtopia
- Location: chateau du fey
- Language: English
Summary
Elana is a vegetarian and vegan chef with thirteen years in professional gastronomy, including running three restaurants. After being fired during Covid she went through a depression and began looking for communities where her work could sit inside something meaningful. She heard about Feÿtopia through Feliciana in Ibiza, then arrived three years later when Lou invited her after tasting her food at a Berlin immersive event.
She has also spent time at Tamera in Portugal and a small community near Torino, Italy. Across these experiences she identifies a common thread: the wish to create safe, supportive space. But Feÿtopia is where she feels most able to be vulnerable. During a breakup she describes showing up for community even in pain and being seen and held without having to explain.
Her key insight is the power of shared vision, which she calls 'high vision' at Fey: dreaming together and giving energy toward a shared desire. She came looking for synergy and found a community that matched it. Jess's presence as an active member rather than a distant owner she identifies as the structural element that makes the warmth feel real.
After three seasons, Elana imagines living in multigenerational community for the rest of her life.
Key quotes
This is a community of weirdos, in the best sense. I can express all my colors here.
I learned the power of sharing vision. Here we speak about high vision. It means having dreams, sharing these dreams, and giving energy toward this shared desire in order to manifest it.
Living in community feels like the most regulated way for me to live in society. I find support, growth, learning from other people. I do not want an isolated life anymore.
In a community held by love, that kind of sharing feels welcome.
Transcript
---
interviewee: Elana
community: Feytopia
location: France
featured_in_posts: none
transcript_format: clean
themes:
- Sharing
- Values
- Change
- Community
- Learning
- Relationship
---
# Interview Transcript: Elana
**Community:** Château de Fey / Feytopia
**Interviewer:** Sharon Avraham
---
**Sharon:** So, let's start with your name and where we are right now in the world.
**Elana:** I am Elana. We are in Frétoy, in Saône-et-Loire, about one hour and a half from Paris, in the middle of a beautiful forest of the Bourgogne region. We are in a beautiful castle from the 15th century.
This castle became my house, my anchor. I come here already since three years. I found a family here, and for me it is the best place to grow, work, and live.
---
**Sharon:** How did you first hear about this place?
**Elana:** I first heard about this place when I was in Ibiza, working at a retreat. I am a chef, a vegetarian and vegan chef. I was cooking for a retreat full of life-changing people.
There I met some Feytopians. Feliciana told me, "Hey, I think you would be really happy to meet Fey and the community." I said, yes, of course.
She gave me Jess's number. I texted her, but she already had a chef for that year. So I set my intention to come here.
One year later, I was cooking for an artist residency in Berlin, at an immersive event. Feytopia came there. Lou ate my food and said, "You know, maybe you could come to Fey to cook for us."
I told her I already knew about Fey since one year. That time the timing felt right, because they were looking for a chef. So I came here three years ago, like Cinderella, without any idea what I would find, and I already stepped into a kind of family.
---
**Sharon:** What felt interesting for you in this lifestyle of retreats and residencies, living and cooking in places like this?
**Elana:** As a professional chef, I spent 13 years working in gastronomy. I ran three restaurants. Then during Covid I got fired.
I went through a big depression and realized that the environment where I expressed my art and talent did not reflect the values I wanted to share. So I decided to put myself in a different environment.
I started to look for community because I believe in synergy. The synergy I bring as a person and as a chef needs other synergy around it, a reflection.
With this intention and energy, I looked for communities. I love my job. I really love to cook for people. It is my love language. I wanted my work to sit in the engine of the change I wish to see in the world.
At first I thought cooking vegetarian and vegan food already carried my message and my mission. Here I feel more complete, because I see people who really try to create change.
Living in community feels like the most regulated way for me to live in society. I find support, growth, learning from other people. I do not want an isolated life anymore. I want to stay surrounded by people I can grow with.
---
**Sharon:** Did you have any experience with community life before coming here?
**Elana:** Before Fey, I spent one month in Tamera in Portugal, where I also cooked for a festival that you know as well. It was a very beautiful experience and also very intense.
What I found here at Fey is that my position and what I give to the community feel enough. People appreciate the love and care I put into food. It feels more human. I can be vulnerable. I can have difficult days, and people around me understand that and support me.
I also live and work sometimes in another community in Italy, a very small community of friends near Torino. That community just started. It is very different from Fey. It is not a castle. It is a house. They are rebuilding it.
They have a vegetable garden. The project focuses more on elegance in simplicity and on being sustainable with the land, recycling what exists there, creating stages for a summer festival from materials on the land. We bend branches to create stages, towers, bridges. People there are younger on average.
The common ground I feel between these places is the wish to create a safe space for people and to be very supportive.
---
**Sharon:** If you had to name one meaningful thing you learned during your time here, what would you choose?
**Elana:** I learned the power of sharing vision.
Here we speak about "high vision." It means having dreams, sharing these dreams, and giving energy toward this shared desire in order to manifest it. This changed my approach to life. I feel more able to dream, because I live in a community of dreamers.
---
**Sharon:** Can you give a small example of a change that came to life for you here?
**Elana:** In these three years, I changed a lot. This safe space and this active community helped regulate my nervous system. I feel more space to express myself. I feel less fear to share my ideas.
In this space I find a lot of creativity. I can improvise. I can create cooking activations and parties in the kitchen without preparation. I feel less perfectionist, more in the flow, with more trust in the process.
---
**Sharon:** Can you name a very challenging moment, related to personal relationships or working with the team, that felt intense for you? How did you go through it and how do you see it now?
**Elana:** The most challenging moment for me was a breakup.
When I suffer, I usually tend to isolate. I go into a freeze mode. I try to avoid people because I feel afraid of spreading bad vibes or contaminating others.
Here, feeling so supported and loved gave me more courage to show up for the community and for myself. Every time I show up for myself, even in a hard moment, I send myself a message of love and care. I tell myself I matter.
One time, in the middle of this struggle, I still showed up for work and for community. I was simply around the people, present in the life of the house. People here are sensitive. They saw me. They came to me, helped me, held me, gave me the love I felt missing.
---
**Sharon:** How did it feel in the beginning, during the breakup, when people around you showed up and saw you?
**Elana:** This is the beauty of this place. They see me the way I see them.
I do not always need to explain. They look at my face and say, "Hey, what is up?" Then it is up to me to open or to stay closed.
I learned a tool here: to show my vulnerability and say, "Actually, I feel very low. I need a hug." I do not always need to ask. They offer a hug.
I felt scared in the past to share heavy moods. Here it feels fully fine. In a community held by love, that kind of sharing feels welcome.
---
**Sharon:** What do you feel allows this kind of experience, from the way the place is built and managed, from the way the team and founders hold it?
**Elana:** The way Jess lives with us makes a big difference.
She does not sit far away as "the owner." She feels like an active part of the community. You see her every day. She always has a word for you, and a form of validation. She sees you.
This changes everything. In communities where you do not see the owner, you feel like you live in someone else's house. Here I feel I live with the person who owns the place. There is no big separation.
In three years we also became friends. We can have practical, professional conversations and also very intimate ones. That feels precious. She inspires me a lot. She always has very good advice.
---
**Sharon:** Do you feel there was an inner journey you needed to take in order to experience this place fully?
**Elana:** Yes, and at the same time there is zero pressure.
When I arrived, I had the feeling that people could see me. It felt a little like a Berlin club with a bouncer who feels who you are without knowing you.
I arrived thinking, "Oh my God, they live in a castle, are they going to like me? Are we very different?" Then they simply saw me for who I am and for the love and care I bring through my work.
I was looking for a place that resonated with my own synergy, and they were looking for someone who truly wanted to care for them through food. I manifested the synergy I wished for.
This is a community of weirdos, in the best sense. I can express all my colors here.
---
**Sharon:** When new people arrive, what kind of struggles or insecurities do you see, and how do they slowly ease into the flow?
**Elana:** Everyone arrives with a different character.
Some people are more extroverted. They arrive, jump in, show themselves fully from the beginning. Others are more shy and may never fully show up. The important part feels the harmony that emerges, and the energy they bring.
Sometimes it takes time, because some people here know each other for many years. You can see groups of close friends, and that can feel intimidating for shy people.
The moment a person feels ready to share who they are and what they came for, people become very receptive. It can start with a walk, showing an art piece, sharing a project. People here are very curious.
It does not feel like a closed circle of old friends. It feels like a group of friends with long bonds and at the same time a lot of openness.
There is a strong impulse to co-create. That is one of the first things we tell new people: the invitation is to co-create. That invitation opens the platform for sharing.
---
**Sharon:** What advice would you give someone who feels inspired by this and wants to find a path toward working or living in a place like this, maybe without much money or clear direction?
**Elana:** Many of us carry the voice that says, "I am not good enough."
It is up to us to respond to this voice. We can listen a little, because it points to areas we want to grow, and at the same time we can look at the light behind it. If one part says "I am not good enough," another part knows things we do very well. It is a balance.
For money, I feel honest to say that I do not have a clear recipe. I came here because the community needed a chef. That was the door for me.
---
**Sharon:** What do you feel places like Feytopia bring into the wider landscape of communities: city collectives, anarchist squats, ecovillages, big and small projects?
**Elana:** For me, Feytopia feels like a soup with many ingredients.
There is space for everyone. People involved in crypto, people in different arts, matchmakers, astrologers, builders, cooks. If you feel a call, that call means something. Come and try.
Most of the time there is a click. Magic starts. People notice that they feel happy. Their whole nervous system relaxes.
It feels like a chemical reaction: feeling good, surrounded by people who stay curious and avoid judging you.
So yes, come here, try it out, taste the soup.
---
**Sharon:** Anything else you would like to add?
**Elana:** I see myself living in community. For me this feels like the most natural way to live.
I do not wish to have children, and at the same time I love children. When I imagine myself older, I imagine living in a community with kids, a multigenerational space, surrounded by people.
This experience changed my life. I want to continue in this direction for the rest of my life.
---
**Sharon:** Thank you.
**Elana:** Thank you.