Loneliness Inside Community: Anandeshvarii on Devotion and Belonging

Details

• Interviewee: Anandeshvarii
• Role: Community Member
• Community: Ananda Kalyani
• Date: 2026-01-14
• Language: en

Summary

In this interview, Anandeshvarii shares her journey into a vibrant community that thrives on the principles of the Ananda Marga philosophy. She highlights the importance of feeling like part of a family and emphasizes the intertwined nature of personal development and community service. Anandeshvarii discusses the structured governance of the community, which allows for clear roles and responsibilities, enabling residents to contribute meaningfully while navigating the challenges of communal living.

Anandeshvarii also reveals the emotional dynamics of living in community, including feelings of loneliness amidst a predominantly younger demographic, and the tools she employs for inner growth during difficult times. The interview underscores the significance of inclusion, support systems, and the balance between personal desires and community needs as essential aspects of her experience.

Key quotes

I first heard about it in Brazil... the idea of a vibrating community... made me feel attracted to move to such a vibrant place.

The values you were already there... self-realization... along with, the service to the other... helping others, I help myself.

It's even more challenging when you spend 24, seven with that same group... the challenges in living in such a broad environment is, all the time you are being requested to bring up the harmony...

Well, we follow a structure, that was given, by the founder... there are departments who do not live on the land or work on the land...

Our main source of income nowadays are Erasmus projects... we also... do events... and we also count on private donations...

Be open. Invoke this openness. Ultimate openness in you... from resistance comes a lot of suffering.

Transcript

**Sharon:** Yeah. So.
**Sharon:** We can start.
**Sharon:** With your name. And where are we sitting right now? And where are we right now?
**Anandeshvarii:** Okay. And I should go to you. I, me. Oh, that's good. That. I am an industry, by the way. And I was cut in Moscow. And we are inside this beautiful building, which is the guest house. And then the guest house on, and then the Korean master unit property. Which is this piece of heaven and the sea?
**Anandeshvarii:** Round steel, greenish.
**Sharon:** And how did you first hear about this community?
**Anandeshvarii:** I first heard about it in Brazil. I used to live in a sibling community of this one. And there and I heard about all the activities that were going on here, the festival of these. And it was very enthusiastic for me at the time. I was very isolated there during Covid time. In the other community there in Brazil.
**Anandeshvarii:** And, you know, the idea of a vibrating community vibrating, exciting activities all year round. It made me, wow, feel attracted to to move to such a vibrant place. And yet a few months later, here I was.
**Sharon:** In what was like the first steps you did into this place?
**Anandeshvarii:** I used to help promote, which is the association, connected to the social service, to help the ones who are most in need. And we developed, several projects there, like, quality time with the elderly people in the elderly homes in the, in the village. To them, initially the idea, which is a project where we cook for 50 people every week and we deliver from Korea to the local agri food, which is another association that distributes, for the ones who, who are, registered there.
**Anandeshvarii:** Also, helped to, to set up this, refugee project. We, we host, till now two families, to, refugee families, one of the first one from Syria and the second one from Afghanistan. And I'm still doing all of those. I have I have passed on to other functions inside, but the one in the prison project, I'm still connected with.
**Anandeshvarii:** So once a week, we go to the local prison in Covina, and offer some sessions of, Q sorry, meditation and yoga once. Yeah, those were the first, accomplishments.
**Sharon:** And these, activities that you led from being part of this community, like, from people from this community?
**Anandeshvarii:** Yes. There is a structure right. And, everyone who comes here know already, where will be allocated? At, I came directly to a moved from which I moved on, after a while, but everyone that comes here has already contributed so helps in this section or that organization or, even on the land, on the teams that are organized on the land.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. And everyone collaborates in their own way, of course, guided by their mentors, then their leads to, to develop the project as a whole.
**Sharon:** And in these early days and, and just came here, what were the values? Did you find that you were very aligned with?
**Anandeshvarii:** The values you were already there. Because we have a strong base, in, in, in the Marga philosophy and, and the mark is a data who might have explained your any, it's, social spiritual organization founded in India in 55. By this special person called CC in the moti. And he was the one who also all set up the values that we still in this, project, or we follow in church.
**Anandeshvarii:** And I've heard about it in Brazil when I was living there, firstly in the big city, and then when I moved to the sibling project of this one, then I could embody different more of the values. So it was, it was not that I, got to know or got acquainted. When, when I arrived here.
**Anandeshvarii:** So it was something that I was practicing. I was leaving, before.
**Sharon:** Yeah. Like, what kind of value did you say? Oh, this is something I want to be around. These values or these people, or have these values be more taking more part in my life.
**Anandeshvarii:** All right, there's two important things here. There is a main spirit of Ananda marga philosophy, which is self-realization. So your own self-development, along with, the service to the other. So, one does not go without the other, right. I cannot give a look myself if I'm not connected to others or to Mother Nature or, to the supreme consciousness.
**Anandeshvarii:** Right. It's it's all one. So it goes along. Helping others. I help myself, helping myself, I help others, and, this way we go. This is very important to me. Not to separate both. So we do service as well as we work on ourselves.
**Anandeshvarii:** The other important thing for me, which I just forgot.
**Anandeshvarii:** One.
**Anandeshvarii:** I wanted to say this. And. Oh, I know, I wanted to tell a story with captivated me. You know, the Marga and this, feeling that actually caught me. It's one of the values that I cherish most. Most. And I try to reproduce to others. What I felt when I first started to go to the collective meditations of this group, in general in Brazil, was this sense of family, but family in a very beautiful way.
**Anandeshvarii:** Family and in a inclusive way. I could be who, whoever I was at the time, I would, they would accept me. They would embrace me, you know, that. I wouldn't feel any judgment or, sense of, separation. You know, and that was very beautiful. And it was what actually captivated me. I felt, okay, here I am at home.
**Anandeshvarii:** Here I can be who I am, and I'm accepted. I belong the. It's quite strong, but, yeah, they like me, you know, they just not tolerate me. They like me. They embrace me. I know.
**Sharon:** It's important.
**Sharon:** Yeah. And that is. That is very beautiful. And I feel that everywhere I go in the world. That is in another of space, you know, that is very beautiful. That is really astonishing. Yeah. And I guess I'm not the only one saying this.
**Anandeshvarii:** So there is something there. I don't know. Another, I shared about this, but, there's a mantra that we sing very much about when I'm giving them that means roughly saying that love is all there is. Love is everywhere. And one can feel that if if even if you haven't practiced it before, the this gives them this mantra when you walk in, a another space, you feel there is love. There is this essence that attracts the beings to be and to feel it peace, to feel home.
**Sharon:** Yeah, I really feel it. This being of your.
**Sharon:** How did you. Have to change or grow internally? How to live here to fit in to something.
**Anandeshvarii:** That's very interesting. You know, it's a challenge when you are leaving a group of people. Well, always is right in even when the the environment arise. It being a work environment being very relaxed or a social environment like, I don't know, or a sports environment or whatever, go into a cafe, whatever. It's always challenging when there's a lot of people around and you have to cope with different backgrounds, different, characters.
**Anandeshvarii:** Let's see. Right. But it's even more challenging when you spend 24, seven with that same group.
**Anandeshvarii:** It's even more challenging when you share, not only your leisure time, your meals time, your rest time, along with service time.
**Anandeshvarii:** So it's it's, I think one of the most challenging challenges, in living in such a a broad, environment is, all the time you are being requested to bring up the harmony, you know, this, overcoming the conflict. Because, of course, nobody's made of iron. We are. Of course, there's, points that, we do not agree. There is some friction, whatever.
**Anandeshvarii:** And being such an environment that you cannot just close the door and not see the person for a while, or never going to see see the person again. You need to face the problems. You need to invoke the harmony to get along.
**Anandeshvarii:** And yeah, so we always being reminded of being in your that not your best place, being in your Armenia's place.
**Sharon:** Can you like specify. Oh I went in this way and that might have caused a bit of conflict in the internal or external. And then maybe like something you've learned or you noticed that needed to change.
**Anandeshvarii:** Oh my God that this, there's a lot that needs to change.
**Sharon:** And it did. And it allowed you to like.
**Sharon:** Be to look at it and to work on it. Yeah. What is being more present lately. And when I say lately is, I don't know, a couple of years, let's say, I have been a while, it's quite a while, but it's still here. But it's much better, I would say. But there's still a lot to to work on.
**Anandeshvarii:** To, to get better on, on that issue is to listen without reacting. Yeah. I'm not a very patient person. And I mean my story, my character brings a lot of fear sometimes, and I'm still learning how to navigate that fear without, before, putting it out, I don't know.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. Yeah. This is a big challenge for me. And again, because of the need of, being 24, seven with, a big group of people. So it invokes the harmony. Okay, this is not healthy. Neither for me, not for the others. So how can I make it better for everyone, including myself, right?
**Sharon:** Yeah, it's a process.
**Sharon:** So. What do you feel is like the most important piece of in the world that allows you to live here in this lifestyle?
**Anandeshvarii:** Important piece of inner work, I don't know, what does it mean, but I would say that it's.
**Anandeshvarii:** Required, to be very much connected to ourselves. You know. To get to know ourselves, pretty well, our desires or lack of desires, our, no goals.
**Anandeshvarii:** Our boundaries. You know, it's. Yeah. When you live in such a, set up, when there's a lot of movement, there's a lot of, rotation in people.
**Anandeshvarii:** People come and go all the time. Different people. Right? You have to, really practice, getting to know, well, yourself so you don't, now to say, you really know, what is yours and what is, others what?
**Anandeshvarii:** I mean, ours or others is, by our own responsibility, our own, feelings or actions or, you know, what is really mine and what I connect on and what is others.
**Anandeshvarii:** And I can just suggest to to do whatever, So, yeah, I think this is a very good piece of it, very good tool in such an environment.
**Anandeshvarii:** And that comes and he is the link. No, that comes through the spiritual practices. Know that comes disconnection. Disconnection, with ourselves come so the connection with the greater know.
**Sharon:** Did did your sense of self change from living in community and if so, in what way?
**Anandeshvarii:** It is very much it is it. I have a friend in the other project in Brazil that used to say that living in such a project means, living in a blender.
**Anandeshvarii:** You know, this because it's to use up. It brings up so many things.
**Anandeshvarii:** You are constantly being challenged, and it's a faster way of, facing what is there.
**Anandeshvarii:** There's no way of putting it under the rug. It's very difficult to do that. You know? And, Yeah. Yeah. So for sure I have. Yeah, I have brought a lot of things to my consciousness that, I wasn't aware of. It's a not an upgrade. How? This is an accelerator of growth.
**Sharon:** So you see yourself differently now?
**Anandeshvarii:** I see myself differently.
**Sharon:** In what way? Like, how does, like, your sense of identity and.
**Sharon:** Or, from before being here to being here now?
**Anandeshvarii:** It might be. And then Gornick what I'm saying, what I'm about to say. What in a way. I feel like I'm much more selfless.
**Anandeshvarii:** I'm much more attentive, to what is around me. And and on the other side, I am very much attentive to what is in here.
**Anandeshvarii:** So. But not in a selfish way, I would say. Just more aware. More aware.
**Anandeshvarii:** Maybe it comes down to consciousness. Yeah. Maybe I can simplify this saint by saying that I guess I'm more conscious of what is going on here and here.
**Sharon:** And how does this place organize, like in the day to day?
**Anandeshvarii:** Well, we follow a structure, that was given, by the founder of, this organization or we try to food to, to follow that structure.
**Anandeshvarii:** So it's kind of, a system a you court system, that makes it easier on the, the, day to day life.
**Anandeshvarii:** So there's there's, Oh, wow.
**Anandeshvarii:** How can I put this in simple words? Well, the system is like, organizing the, fields of work. So there are departments who do not, live on the land or work on the land that are around.
**Anandeshvarii:** And they are the teams on the land that provide for the daily and, the activities, the events and the guest house to run.
**Anandeshvarii:** And there is a rector who is the other, that MP that you, you met today, then there's the executive committee, which is, which is a kind of a council to the rector, so helps in the management.
**Anandeshvarii:** And then there's currently I mean, it might change, the say short term, let's say in then there's the operational manager and then there's several teams on the field.
**Anandeshvarii:** There's some there's teams that that are reporting directly to the operational manager, and there's teams that report, to the executive committee, directly or to one of the members of the executive committee.
**Anandeshvarii:** Oh, that must say that the operational manager also belongs to the executive committee or is part in it?
**Anandeshvarii:** On the field, we have communication team, events, team, guest house, meaning visitors and accommodation.
**Anandeshvarii:** We have logistics, we have a maintenance, we have kitchen. We have, cultures. Nowadays it's it's a team on the field which should be in a while, a department. I think I'm missing one.
**Sharon:** Well, being.
**Anandeshvarii:** We want to know exactly. Exactly. And when. So, that is Frank.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. Those are the the teams on the field, that connected, help this place, grow, develop at the same time, make sure that the daily, the daily life happens in, or the organized way.
**Anandeshvarii:** And then there's the departments, which are these associations that somehow are part of this bigger system, but they are not, on, on the daily life, on the field, who are, what, this social, service association.
**Anandeshvarii:** Then there's the aquatic and the plants and the animals. Preservation. And then there's prep, who is responsible for them? Social, economical, development of the region.
**Anandeshvarii:** So they, there's a, different proposal for the, the current system, and they actually have a great, work then in the region of Covid, the beta, which is this, this brother, region here.
**Sharon:** It's a lot.
**Anandeshvarii:** It's a lot. It's a big project. It's a lot. So our focus is not on the community. The community is a consequence of the full opening of the project because we need people right.
**Anandeshvarii:** But actually what we want is to reproduce this new model of society that we want to implement outside being a model to inspire others.
**Anandeshvarii:** Right.
**Sharon:** And this what the center is also the.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. Try this one is, is apart from India, who which is the first and the most developed one there. There's already university. There's already hospital, and so on.
**Anandeshvarii:** This is, I would say, the second in the world that is most developed. The others are on the way. We are still on the way of course, but the others are.
**Sharon:** And, how do you. How do you decide? Like who does what?
**Sharon:** If someone comes here, he likes the place. He volunteers, and then just naturally, they join the team or do some.
**Anandeshvarii:** You know, there's a process. Usually people don't just show up, and then we see what to do. You know, we try to again, the harmony aspect comes, we try to do, that process before people come.
**Anandeshvarii:** Of course, if people can, can join for a while just to feel if it's a good match, even better. And then we, we go, through the process.
**Anandeshvarii:** But most of the times the process happens before people arrive. The recruitment process went with the human flow.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. Because we are so specific now. We have so, so many special, specificities, characteristics that not everyone, feel aligned.
**Anandeshvarii:** Right. And that's important for us. We have this very specific lifestyle.
**Anandeshvarii:** Lifestyle. We don't eat meat, we don't eat several, very conventional, items like eggs or, onions or garlic.
**Anandeshvarii:** And it might cause some clashes in some people.
**Anandeshvarii:** So we try to do to, to make a filter before no drugs, no alcohol, no this and that or focus on this or that.
**Anandeshvarii:** Know. Yes. So it's quite specific. Just to be, with doors open and then we see what we do with, with people.
**Sharon:** And. You divided like resources between the community,
**Sharon:** Food, but for the vibe.
**Sharon:** Like, I mean, how do you manage? I see food spaces, accommodation, money, like, how does it work between the members of the project?
**Anandeshvarii:** So. Oh, I forgot one thing that is important to know. And the team is funding. So it's the team who looks for funding for the project.
**Anandeshvarii:** Our main source of income. Nowadays. Are we okay? It's. It's Erasmus projects. We do a lot of, programs with youth. We receive, groups of youth, and, we deliver some, some programs, to them, of course, related to our, values here, spirituality, sustainability and so on.
**Anandeshvarii:** And we also receive a lot of, volunteers that also come from funding, programs, like in, besides that, we do events and our more resourceful, events, let's say, are two in the, in the, the, the Marvel retreats in the New Years and in spring.
**Anandeshvarii:** And then we have the guest house, which is new and, we expect it to be our main source of income on the next, for the next months and, next year.
**Sharon:** To, for.
**Anandeshvarii:** It is, I mean, is and, how do we divide it? Well, we pay mainly in the bills to maintain all the structure and the daily life, with those sources of, of income.
**Anandeshvarii:** We also have some donations, private donations. We also count on that currently. Hopefully in the near future, we will not need, for that.
**Anandeshvarii:** We will be self-sustainable. But we are not on that point yet. Almost there.
**Anandeshvarii:** And yet we use the money to maintain the structure, to develop, to to betterment system, to be to be done, and also to pay keep people, to remain, on the project, to inspire them to, to remain, some people have families, so they need some kind of fixed, income.
**Anandeshvarii:** And yeah, some people, that are very important that are here since, very long time that are very aligned, with the Protestant values.
**Anandeshvarii:** And. Yeah, that's how we, we use the financial resources, and even these, these people that we pay, we are talking about the very basic, minimum wage. That's how we need it currently.
**Anandeshvarii:** It's what we can provide. Yeah. And the condition you you ask enough.
**Anandeshvarii:** We are very limited, on the behalf of accommodation, actually. So what? We offer 14 members for regular volunteers are shared rooms or tents.
**Anandeshvarii:** When, when it's possible during summer time, of course. Here is very cold in winter time, so it's not really recommended to, to be in a tent.
**Anandeshvarii:** And we also have some houses in the village that we rent, and there we can provide, but conventional structures, let's say, because here on the land, if you had the opportunity, we only have compost toilets and showers, open air and so on.
**Anandeshvarii:** So in the houses in the village, they they are very conventional.
**Anandeshvarii:** And people who prefer that, that kind of comforts can, can be there.
**Anandeshvarii:** And 14 leaves, the ones who are leading teams and have more responsibility and are more, let's say, demanded they need more, more quietness and more mental space.
**Anandeshvarii:** So, they have private rooms. We provide private rooms for them.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. That's it. That's how we. And we allocate people.
**Sharon:** How do you deal with conflicts here? How do you manage disagreements?
**Anandeshvarii:** Conflicts?
**Anandeshvarii:** I would say I would dare to say we don't have so many significant conflicts.
**Anandeshvarii:** Of course there is. But, on, on, 1 to 1, let's say.
**Anandeshvarii:** But usually people, dealing with that quite well, you know, there's nothing really major that comes up sometimes.
**Anandeshvarii:** There is people who are not aligned with the structure. It recently happened, I don't know, maybe one month ago or so, we had someone that, was not adding to the to the collective, let's say, was more of a weight than, a positive.
**Anandeshvarii:** I don't and, yeah, he was invited to, to leave and that.
**Sharon:** Invited to not be invited.
**Anandeshvarii:** Exactly. Yeah, exactly. And that's to them some, some things in in this person and, yeah, that became quite it was it was not really, confrontation.
**Anandeshvarii:** I mean, there was one moment of confrontation and that this solved and actually the person on the day after and just left even, on the day of the confrontation would say, I will not leave, call the police to let me out.
**Anandeshvarii:** I will not leave. But actually, the day after just went away without leave. No need to say anything else.
**Anandeshvarii:** So things get to to dissolve.
**Sharon:** And what helps you build trust?
**Anandeshvarii:** I would say this participation in, everything that we do, it's very common and common in the sense that, everybody is interacting in every, every activity.
**Anandeshvarii:** I think that can bring trust.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. I don't indentify one thing that we do with that purpose, you know.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. Maybe seeing, coming out of the shower or washing dishes or mopping the floor or, you know.
**Anandeshvarii:** Build some kind of, inherent trust or being with your eyes closed for a certain time period of time.
**Anandeshvarii:** You know, sitting on the floor and maybe can bring some. Okay. Just another human to me.
**Sharon:** Is is there anything that, you know? No.
**Anandeshvarii:** Oh, yes. I mean, I think I was very much naive in the sense of. Oh, the community, a lot of people. That will be fun.
**Anandeshvarii:** No, I thought that there will always be, I'll just say, uplifted energy.
**Anandeshvarii:** And actually, what brings more people is more opportunity of growth. Is more opportunity to invoke the harmony.
**Anandeshvarii:** So, yeah, if I would know that, it would require that maybe I wouldn't be so upfront in moving here.
**Anandeshvarii:** Let's say also, one thing more practical thing is, I don't drive.
**Anandeshvarii:** So I'm very dependent here. If I want to go outside, do something. I need to convince someone to come with me.
**Anandeshvarii:** Or even or at least to give me a around, and that I wasn't counting on.
**Anandeshvarii:** Know, I thought I could be more independent with, public transportation here, but it's not the case.
**Anandeshvarii:** No, it's very hard.
**Sharon:** Yeah, but what, would you give someone that's just about to make the first steps into a place like this?
**Anandeshvarii:** Oh, another thing coming back to the, the last question or I wouldn't expect as well to feel the need of having more people on my age or older.
**Anandeshvarii:** The great majority are very young people know that are looking for this experience of living in a community.
**Anandeshvarii:** It's what is more attractive to them. And, people over 40 are not so common around, and I didn't think about it that at a certain point I would feel that I would need, that kind of interaction.
**Anandeshvarii:** And.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah, so it was something that was not there as, if I knew.
**Anandeshvarii:** The one tip.
**Anandeshvarii:** Oh, my God, just one.
**Anandeshvarii:** It's coming. We know which one.
**Anandeshvarii:** Be open. Invoke this openness. Ultimate openness in you.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah, I think that would be the. From resistance comes a lot of suffering. So be open.
**Anandeshvarii:** Come open. Like this. Openness?
**Sharon:** It's a beautiful sentence.
**Sharon:** Who are the moments where you felt it? Almost. This is not going to work out.
**Anandeshvarii:** Oh, yes.
**Sharon:** And how did you move through the.
**Sharon:** Oh, how are you moving through the process?
**Anandeshvarii:** Well, fortunately we have a lot of tools now.
**Anandeshvarii:** We teach here also some of those tools.
**Anandeshvarii:** And not to identify with, what you are feeling, what you are going through.
**Anandeshvarii:** And so one of them.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. Let it come. Feel it, hold it and let it move.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. And giving time to the process now and not wanting to rush anything or any decision or any, Yeah. Give it time.
**Anandeshvarii:** Hold it, not hold it in the sense of, keep it.
**Anandeshvarii:** No, hold it in the sense of contain it, contain it, let it be there.
**Anandeshvarii:** Let. Allow you to to feel what is there, without any attachment.
**Anandeshvarii:** Without. Without any identification.
**Anandeshvarii:** And surrender. Surrender to it. Surrender to what comes from it.
**Anandeshvarii:** Let it, let it unfold.
**Sharon:** No.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah, this is what I'm doing for.
**Anandeshvarii:** For a while. All right. So yeah.
**Sharon:** Yeah.
**Anandeshvarii:** I would say to, they're very intimate. I'm going to share some clues. Some intimate stuff. Well, the first one I have shared already know. The loneliness.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah.
**Anandeshvarii:** And that comes from, a frustrated expectation, you know, that comes from the desire of having a partner, a lifelong partner, and not being able to.
**Anandeshvarii:** So counting on that to fulfill the loneliness in such a setup. Where there's a lot of young people to relate to it.
**Anandeshvarii:** So I do not resonate so much this come and go. So when you find someone that, you feel close, then, there's another change and yeah, so there's a moment.
**Anandeshvarii:** There's very much put on this, partner, now that I'm longing for.
**Sharon:** And experience that recently?
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah. It's too hard.
**Sharon:** Do you show this place to those who lives here to.
**Anandeshvarii:** Not anymore.
**Sharon:** Oh.
**Anandeshvarii:** Not anymore. It's just few days. But yes. It's one of the founders of this place.
**Anandeshvarii:** And now?
**Sharon:** Yeah. I'm slowly.
**Sharon:** It's very difficult to hold.
**Anandeshvarii:** It is very difficult to not be in.
**Anandeshvarii:** To not think of my own well-being, you know, not only think of my own well-being. To think of the greater you know, what is the best? What is the greater good for the greater good.
**Anandeshvarii:** And that was very difficult.
**Anandeshvarii:** Because is is is a fundamental piece in this project.
**Anandeshvarii:** So it was very difficult to still interact with the person that you are trying to,
**Anandeshvarii:** Want to say separate. You separate into four different levels, but still you have to interact with every single day for the greater good.
**Sharon:** Well, it's fun.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah, I know. Oh yeah.
**Anandeshvarii:** There was another one, but I forgot. What was it?
**Anandeshvarii:** Oh yes, I remember.
**Anandeshvarii:** I also shared this, perception of not being in my best in my,
**Anandeshvarii:** Better energy. Let's say, according to to my being,
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah, I think I was leading, I was performing my role, in a way that wasn't so much aligned with what I really want to feel in my own being, what I want to nurture, you know?
**Anandeshvarii:** So somehow it's a kind of violence against myself, you know, that I was committing other.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah.
**Anandeshvarii:** Am I supposed to show such intimate things? What are you going to do in that?
**Sharon:** I don't know.
**Anandeshvarii:** Hopefully it will not get public.
**Sharon:** Yeah. Well that's true. Oh ask you. And this is a gift also like I know I've lived in community also for many years.
**Sharon:** It's very hard. We fell in love with like, we at whole sometimes even it was good. People were hurt.
**Sharon:** I think it was,
**Anandeshvarii:** And especially with these devices, like we're supposed to present, this, like, all American dream of community.
**Sharon:** But, It's so trendy. No, no.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah, I think it's a gift. It's a gift to show.
**Sharon:** But I. You know, I am not a 25 year old who. Wants to live in community because it's changing.
**Sharon:** Like, I grew up in a community.
**Sharon:** So. And I hope this project will go a bit deeper.
**Anandeshvarii:** A bit deeper. I mean, that it will be beneficial for people who have no idea.
**Anandeshvarii:** And the sense of community is like going to a festival or having an online following or whatever to people who live like this for 50 years.
**Sharon:** You can also like, oh.
**Sharon:** And, I've been that person. I've been a leader of a project on the land that I, I own.
**Sharon:** And we had a community, my partner fell in love with the guy who lives in the room in front of us.
**Sharon:** And then we went to all the drama of the.
**Sharon:** And then people leaving.
**Sharon:** And then what? Who does a business that we're all running together.
**Anandeshvarii:** That's.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah, I know.
**Sharon:** So he it's, also called.
**Anandeshvarii:** You don't have your face.
**Sharon:** Yeah, yeah. I'm invasive.
**Anandeshvarii:** I mean, because I'm not in my best place. I don't want this to be the face of this project because it's much more beautiful than my current state.
**Anandeshvarii:** It's just one individual going through a lot of lives. It. The project is much bigger than this.
**Sharon:** Yeah, yeah. I don't see I think.
**Sharon:** I don't think you were present and and, I think you were present a human, I was feeling lonely as we all, feeling lonely for some of those with.
**Sharon:** In partnership or in community or not in partnership or not in community.
**Sharon:** And.
**Anandeshvarii:** And you're doing this thing that so many people want to do and talk about and, and the woman to say,
**Sharon:** And then what most people do come in the van as far as they can within a month to six months.
**Anandeshvarii:** That's most people.
**Sharon:** So I think talking about these things and showing yourself in that way, I don't know how I'm going to use it.
**Anandeshvarii:** Please feel like it's close.
**Sharon:** And I would ask, to leave the fence. Right. It depends whether the people are going to take this.
**Sharon:** Yeah. If more people would be brave and open up in this way.
**Anandeshvarii:** So maybe that's going to be something about that. If.
**Sharon:** No, it's, it's also a first date with an and, I don't I don't think I would know anything.
**Sharon:** So, six interviews.
**Anandeshvarii:** Yeah, but I see at least I see that. Of certain different countries or different people within 5 or 50 years in a place and, yeah, the challenges are the same.
**Sharon:** And the solutions are also the same.
**Anandeshvarii:** The solutions being generous.
**Sharon:** Generous with those, patience.
**Sharon:** Trusting.